Saturday, February 6, 2010

Crossword


thanks to Virgin media for image....


Warning!!! Contains spoilers for those who haven't finished this week's Guardian Quick Crossword.

It occurred to me this morning that perhaps the only reason I buy the Guardian is to see if I can complete the quick crossword without cheating.

Define cheating? Asking your husband.(6,4,7) Googling.(8) Checking the crossword dictionary.(8,3,9,10)

So far I haven't reached my goal. I get awfully close though most weeks. Usually one or two clues off. Which probably seems really pathetic to those clever sorts who hurl themselves willy nilly at the Cryptic. My life is torture enough without cryptic.

But then I exaggerate don't I? Torture? Gainfully employed. Healthy children. A roof over my head and food in the fridge. Books on the shelves. Knitting in my basket. Torture??? Get a grip luvvie.

I of course think when I buy the Guardian that I will read all those erudite articles about the world and its people. Sometimes I do. Mostly though it's just the quick crossword.

But I don't mind because I learn even from doing the silly quick crossword.

"Bole?!!" I yelled this morning from the living room to himself sitting in the kitchen. "Trunk" he yelled back. "Trunk?" I said.

Sighing, he dragged himself to his feet and away from I suspect the engrossing Weekend Shopper - looking for more old technology - dead computers that he can resuscitate or cannibalise to make other old computers live again. Did you know we are a nursing home for old computers? But that's another story....

He stands looking over my shoulder. "Two clues to go" I say....pointing..."Bole ...four letters and then five" - "Tree Trunk" he says and then moves away. "Tree Trunk?" - it fits - damn and blast. How does he know these things? Never bloody heard of bole.

"Knight's personal flag?" I yell hopefully after him. "Pennant" he yells back. "No, it doesn't fit. I thought that too." I bleat.

I sigh. I google. It's been more than half an hour - time to give up and get on with the knitting.

I read an entry on flags generously provided by the Los Angeles Chinese Learning Centre - whatever that is .....they talk about knight's personal flags. I even learn that Vexillology is the scientific study of flags. Not just the study mind you. The scientific study. But I can't find a six letter word beginning with P and ending with N.

Back to Google. There it is. Pennon. Thanks to thefreedictionary.

So see...perhaps you have learnt something too. Next week over the water cooler or at the sink in the communal kitchen you can confidently say to a colleague...rather like that gorgeous odious character out of The Young Ones...Rick wasn't it? ....yes, put on your best Rick voice...

"Would you believe that a vexillologist was walking by just when I was tieing my pennon round the bole of my gum tree on Saturday morning...(SNORT) talk about synchronicity!!!!" That should make them choke on their tim tam or make your boss sit up and take a bit of notice.

5 comments:

leithalthinking said...

Hey Luvvie,

Nice way to start my Saturday, reading your blog and listening to the Wombats. Yes I imagined saying all that in Rick's voice with that look on my face. Worked a treat. Off to take the dog for a clip.

Cheers,
Leithal

Grand Purl Baa said...

Luvvie

One wouldn't even ATTEMPT the Guardian Quick Crossword for fear that one would simple melt under the weight of discovering the true extent of one's intellectual incapacity and know once and for all that one really is just a great big fraud.

Much better to PRETEND one is smart.

little hat said...

Bole? Tree trunk? I'll stick with tree trunk. Doesn't the guardian have a common garden variety crossword? I can't even do the courier Mail quick crossword - guaranteed one syllable words and designed for 11 year olds. Tosh (term used by toshers to describe the treasures they found in the sewers).

睡衣 said...

If you can not be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.............................................

little hat said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes Alex. Among other things i got a copy of The Road. But even better I got a copy of 'SUM Fifty tales from the afterlives' by David Eagleman. Its a beauty.